Oh no! My Child Has Caught Bilingualism!
A Parody on Our World's Fear of Language and Culture
By Corey Heller
What, your child has caught bilingualism!? No way! How could that happen? Ok, let's retrace your family's steps. Where has your child been? Have you been traveling? Maybe you caught it on the plane. You were living abroad? Oh no! Not that! That is one of the surest ways to catch bilingualism.
Don't panic!
Take solace in the fact that most of the world's population is bilingual. In fact, I heard that even in a country like the US, at least 1 in 5 people speak a language other than English.
I know, I know, it is hard to be part of a minority.
Let's look at the bright side of things: studies have shown that bilingual children actually have many advantages over monolinguals. Some studies have even suggested that bilinguals are smarter, can more easily deal with complex situations and concepts (which experts say could be helpful in today's fast-paced world) and being bilingual might even help a person maintain their quick thinking abilities when they get older.
Hmmm, of course, you can't trust every person who claims to be an expert and does some supposed research but maybe there is something to those studies?
Most importantly, we should be asking what kind of bilingualism has your child caught? You wouldn't want them to catch one of the more than 3,000 languages that are endangered or dying out, how traumatic. And you would hope that they caught a language that everybody likes rather than one with negative associations. Did you know that in some schools your child would get expelled if he speaks her second language in the hall!
She caught Chinese, you say? Hmmmm, I have been hearing this kind of bilingualism coming up more and more lately. It is amazing that it is becoming so contagious since it is such a difficult language to learn but I've been told is isn't as hard as Hungarian. I'm thinking it really might be turning into an epidemic!
I really don't know much about Chinese but I'm thinking that of all the languages to catch, it is probably not the worst. It is the most widely spoken language in the world, which also can't be so bad, right? In fact, did you know that it is the third most common language in Canada? How interesting!
What surprises me is how many children are catching bilingualism these days. I really think that if we aren't careful, they all might catch it. Gosh, that would totally change the world as we know it.
So, tell me again, where did your child pick up this bilingualism?
© Corey Heller – Bilingual/Bicultural Family Network (www.biculturalfamily.org)
 back to Main Newsletter page
|
