Get Motivated!
By Corey Heller

Feeling frustrated?
Don’t give up!
Reassess, recharge and get motivated again!

Making the choice to raise your children multilingually can feel like a daunting task in itself, let alone the actual process of doing it! First come the questions that need answering: Who will speak which language and when? What will we say to extended family who are less than supportive? And then comes the daily process of putting our plans into action.

For some of us this comes easily but sooner or later we are bound to hit a few bumps in the road and need to give ourselves the time and space to reassess our choices and recharge.

PARENT TIME
No one said that parenting multilingual children would be fun all of the time. In fact, some days are downright frustrating and exasperating. After our tireless effort to provide our children with an environment full of language stimulation, they still don’t want to speak it! It is all we can do to just throw in the towl and call it quits.
Before you do this, start by taking some alone time for yourself when someone can watch the children. It is possible that you have reached a level of exhaustion and just need to take some time out for yourself. Don’t feel bad about having your limits. In fact, knowing what your limits are will help you ask for what you need before you reach them.

A common reason families become frustrated (and sometimes even quit) in their process of raising multilingual children is because they lack a plan. Without a plan we are leaving our children’s language and cultural development up to chance. Do you and your spouse have a plan for how you are raising your children multilingually? If your answer is no, then find the time to sit with your spouse and come up with one. It is important to make sure you are both on the same track so that you are working together toward a common goal. Discussing each parent’s expectations can be very enlightening as well.

Even if you do have a plan in place, you should make sure to reevaluate it from time to time. This will give each of you the chance to point out areas that aren’t working and to validate the areas which are. Families are always undergoing changes, especially as children grow older and mature, so it is always a good idea to allow your plan to grow along with your family’s needs.

Most importantly, try not to let yourself worry. Due to the misconceptions and lack of community support for raising multilingual children, it is essential that we not allow ourselves to worry too much about whether we are doing things correctly or not. The joy and fun of raising multilingual children should take center stage.

CHILD TIME
Children need to be encouraged to use their language through a variety of means. If they feel that using one or the other of their languages is simply a waste of time, embarassing or a chore, parents and children alike will have a more difficult time keeping the language alive. Before long it will feel like an uphill battle for parents and children will most likely become resentful.

How do we know if we are helping or hindering the situation with our children? It is difficult to know exactly but watching how your children react can be a good indicator. For example, if your children tune you out only when you speak with them in your language, or if they become frustrated and angry when you use your language, then you probably need to find new ways to motivate your children toward using your language.

The easiest way to get your children interested in your language is to show them how much YOU like your language and culture for their own sakes. You need to use your language as much as possible when your children are around: speaking, watching television programs or DVDs, reading books and communicating with friends and family both in your city as well as back home.

Next, start adding fun activities to the mix. Most games can be altered a bit to include some language use and others can be created from scratch with the language in mind (visit www.biculturalfamily.org Once A Day Tip and Activity for ideas).

No matter what you do to keep yourself and your children motivated, the most important is to keep a healthy perspective on the whole situation. Have fun! If you find that everything is becoming a chore, stop what you are doing and just have a fun, crazy or relaxing day where everyone can recharge.

PARENT MOTIVATIONAL TIPS

Keep a language journal. Keep track of your children’s language progress as well as your thoughts on the matter

Meet with other families. They don’t have to speak the same languages! Just meet with other families who understand what you are going through and can provide support

Start or join a playgroup. Find or start a playgroup that matches your expectations for parent and child support

Let yourself vent. Whether it is with your husband or one of your friends, take time to let off steam with people who understand.

Take time for yourself. Spending time away from the family to do something that delights you is not only good for you, it is important for retaining a healthy household.

Spend time alone with the kids. If you are away from the family working much of the week, then make sure to spend time with the kids alone without your spouse so that you can form your own bonds with your children.

Come up with a plan. Don’t assume that everything is your responsibility. Come up with a plan with your spouse and do it together! Give each other encouragement and have have fun!

For more tips and ideas visit: www.biculturalfamily.org

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