Re-balancing Language Use at Home

By Suzanne Barron-Hauwaert

January is the time for new resolutions and a chance to think about how bilingualism is working in your family.

You might be wondering whether you are doing the right thing bringing up your child bilingually. You might have a child who refuses to speak one language or who is just not making much headway with one language. Your child might be fluent in one language but reluctant to even answer you in the other one. You might have had criticisms from grandparents, friends with kids the same age, your doctor or teacher. You might feel like just giving up on bilingualism. Sometimes one parent feels that the child has not learnt their language because they did something wrong. The parent may feel hurt or confused as to why the child has not just ‘picked up’ his or her language, even though they are speaking it.

Language is a fluid entity and many families go through a stage of ‘unbalance’ when one language over-dominates another one. We have been through this with all three of our children, aged nine, six and three years old. They all went through a stage of refusal to speak my husband’s language (French). Our eldest boy didn’t say much in either language, and didn’t have a reason to, until he needed to speak to his French cousins who didn’t speak a word of English. Our daughter reckoned that it wasn’t worth the effort of learning French, when English was spoken by everyone! Nina was finally jump-started into speaking French by going to a French-language school at age four. Our third one, Gabriel, speaks back to my French husband in English, although he understands if asked if he wants a candy in French!

Seven Tips for Improving Language Use for 2007

1. Try to calculate how much of each language you are speaking at home. 20% will give a basic knowledge, but between 40-60% is needed for a balanced bilingual or enough for a child to be able to hold a conversation. Perhaps you need to spend more one-to-one time with your child using your language exclusively?

2. Your child might be wondering why he or she has to speak one language. Explain to children what speaking your language means to you and how it will help them in the future to communicate with family or people they will meet who speak that language. For older children you can mention that it might help them to have a more interesting job or study in another country too.

3. You might be struggling to pass on your language single-handedly. Get extra help. You can find a tutor or language classes, employ a nanny/au-pair using that language or find an activity run in the weaker language. Form a group with other parents and children. If you can, spend more time in the country where the language is spoken.

4. Look at your book and video/DVD collections. Do you have material in both languages? Can the children watch films in both languages? Do you have a mix of media – picture dictionaries, stories, informative non-fiction and word games? Think about joining a library, which has books in the weaker language, borrowing from friends or ordering from an international bookseller.

5. Is the school language dominating the other one? Perhaps your child has just started school and is ‘swamped’ by the one language and new academic demands. Be understanding, but ask the child to tell you about his or her day and problems in your language and negotiate time for reading/writing in the other non-school language.

6. Are you using your language enough? Have you moved to another country and stopped speaking your language? You might be a fluent bilingual and using your second language at home or at work. Try to set aside time for using only your first language, perhaps linked to an activity or a time when you are free to talk. Use photo albums or books as a way to get conversation going and ask lots of questions.

7. Don’t let your child get away with using the other language with you, if you can see that he or she is becoming progressively monolingual. Ask questions like ‘Which one do you want? The pink or the green one?’, which demand a concrete answer. Avoid easy or ‘yes/no’ questions where the child can just nod or point. Look the child in the eye and wait for the answer, which might take more time to be phrased or processed.

We must be patient with our little bilinguals. They are learning a lot about life in a short time and language is only part of their learning process. Spend time with them, make your language real and enrich their life with your cultural and linguistic knowledge. Allow them to make mistakes and take risks when using new grammar rules and vocabulary, but keep an ear out for too much dominance in one language. Don’t assume they will just pick up your language because you speak it - remember it takes two to have a conversation.

----------------------------------------

Suzanne is the mother of three more-or-less bilingual children aged 9, 7 and 3 years. The family now lives in Chicago, America. Suzanne’s book on Bilingualism Language Strategies for Bilingual Families is available through Multilingual Matters: www.multilingual-matters.com.

back to Multilingual Living Magazine Table Of Contents