Bilingual, Bicultural New Years Resolutions

by Harriet Cannon, M.C.

Welcome to the New Year with its fresh breath of starting over, and maybe starting BETTER than last year. New Year’s enthusiasm can brush away the stress of last year’s unmet goals for the “perfect bilingual household” and give you permission to create more realistic ones for 2007.

Consider a resolution to honor you. Take a moment now and validate the complexity of raising bilingual, bicultural children and appreciate what pioneers you are to be consciously choosing to give your children the gift of two (or more) ways to look at and BE in the world. It is a difficult job to stay committed to a bilingual, bicultural life style in a culture which on one hand says it embraces creativity and diversity and on the other hand is so judgmental of those, especially children, who do not fit easily into mainstream expectations.
The Sunday December 3, 2006 Seattle Times had a column by Leonard Pitts Jr., a syndicated columnist in Miami, Florida. Leonard talked about the how the face of the US in 2050 is expected to look like that of Miami today, equal proportions of black, brown and white citizens, many of whom will speak more than one language. He encouraged the reader to stop the hypersensitivity to everything racial and think more about language and culture. He gave the example of a young colleague who when she went to her mother for marital advice got the response”I told you there would be troubles in your mixed marriage, the culture connection is hard”. In this marriage both partners were black. One was born and raised in the US and the other born and raised in Haiti.

Most of you put your emphasis into how your children are doing and feeling, as bilingual minorities in the dominant culture and forget about how YOU are doing and feeling. As a professional counselor I know the biggest predictor of you child’s success as a bilingual, bicultural person is your ability to stay flexible about the way you approach bicultural, bilingual childrearing. Consider a resolution to talk more often and more honestly with your spouse about what are the most important things each of you wants for your child and family in the second language and second culture. It is realistic to be fluid each year about what works and what does not with your child TODAY so the second language is a source of pleasure not constant conflict. Think small and be consistent. Give yourself permission to relax about it. There is always tomorrow and next year to fine tune your strategy on bilingual family life style.

Historically, immigrants to the US, and to most other countries, assimilated quickly and if they taught their children to achieve fluency in their native tongue they did so privately. Our culture has changed to intellectually accept diversity of language and culture but the reality still remains: as openly bilingual families, you have to put up with comments and prejudice. What are the best self esteem boosters for YOU as well as your children? To stay the course as bilingual 21st century pioneers, be easy on yourselves. Consider having a resolution for stress busting when you are tired of being different. Who or what really lifts your spirit? Make the time for yourself and keep that commitment. Then enjoy the New Year!

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Harriet Cannon, M.C. is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Consultant in Seattle, WA. You can contact her at harriet@harrietcannon.com or telephone (206) 352-1900. Website: www.harrietcannon.com

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