Moving to Another Country with Bilingual Children?

Question:  We are a bicultural couple (US and Spanish) living in Seattle.  Our children are 4 and 6 years and my wife speaks only Spanish at home with the children.  We are planning to go to Spain for 2-3 years to live and work near my wife’s family.  Are there tips we should know about bi cultural child development? 

Answer:   Moving internationally has its challenges with children although young children adjust more easily.  Because young children don’t know what a move will mean to them, any explaining you do about this wonderful adventure will be lost on them.  They will pick up on your enthusiasm which is positive but they will not understand what they are going to loose.  Once you relocate, they will react to the loss of familiar people and places.  They will also react to your stress and culture shock adjustment.  Do whatever you can to keep the US family contact strong with visits by your extended family and friends.  This is easier with today’s technology and web cams. Take many of your children’s “special toys” and furnishings with you.  Creating consistency is important for a child’s feeling of safety and self esteem.  The culture and language differences are challenge enough.  Children need their “stuff”.  When you move, be sure and have a family meeting at least twice a week to check in with everyone on “what is going well and what isn’t”   everyone makes suggestions and plans for the week ahead.  Young Children having adjustment problems are more likely to be cranky rather than withdrawn or depressed like adolescents or adults.  Keep an eye on your children’s moods so you can nip any problems early.  Do join the local expatriates or American Clubs.  No matter how much cultural immersion you want as an adult, traveling with children has some different requirements for support. You will find resources for raising children internationally and a support group that will not be judgmental as you find what works best for your family living in Spain.  A big mistake many families living internationally with young children make is to forget to keep their children attached to the home country culture.  Do speak English at home.  Do get and read to your children in English. If your children go to a Spanish speaking school, DO give them writing and reading in English homework assignments. Do import age appropriate American history and social studies, educational and recreational DVD’s and games from the US.  Young children loose their facility for language quickly if they do not use it.  For good self esteem, children need to “fit in” when they return to the US. Repatriating to the US will be much more difficult emotionally for your children at 7 and 9 than moving to Spain at 4 and 6.  You can minimize the adjustment issues by being vigilant at keeping the children competent, in US language and social expectations while you are living in Spain.  This is a lot of extra work for you as parents but the rewards are your children will have good bi cultural self esteem.

Want to ask Harriet a question? Send your questions for review to Harriet at: harriet@harrietcannon.com.

Disclaimer: The purpose of this column is for advice and education. Due to the volume of mail received, questions may be grouped and answered in a general category. In this column, Harriet Cannon M.C. makes no attempt to enter into a therapeutic relationship with any individual, family or group.

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