Support Needed for Working Spouse?

Question: I moved here from Japan 2 years ago with my wife and young children. My wife has found support groups and things with the kids and is doing well but I am finding the direct and more aggressive work and the culture hard to adjust to. Do you have any tips on how I can become more comfortable here?

Harriet: Cultural differences and social isolation are the two biggest problems for expatriates. Your question is wise and to be taken seriously.

Each of us is unique in how we transition through the phases of culture shock when we move internationally. It can be a difficult time in a relationship when one person adjusts to an international move more easily than the other. It might be helpful to remind yourself your task is especially challenging because you have to adjust to a different style of business as well as the general culture.

You might ask your employer if they will pay for ?bicultural business coaching? to give you some practical training to ease the cultural differences. If your employer doesn't pay for it, you might consider doing so yourself.

You don't mention your work hours and what kind of leisure times you have available. How is your work stress level and are you getting adequate time off?

One very possible social connection is the Japanese American Association in Seattle, Washington. They have social and educational events as well as other resources where you can meet Japanese and Japanese Americans who could help you feel more at home here. They would also be helpful to you with solutions to some of the North American business behaviors which you find irritating.

One more social connection could be social gatherings with other couples and families whom your wife has met through her support groups and children.

Want to ask Harriet a question? Send your questions for review to Harriet at: harriet@harrietcannon.com.

Disclaimer: The purpose of this column is for advice and education. Due to the volume of mail received, questions may be grouped and answered in a general category. In this column, Harriet Cannon M.C. makes no attempt to enter into a therapeutic relationship with any individual, family or group.

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