Belonging...
• During this stage children really start to ask themselves “who am I?” and “how do I fit in?” They go through puberty during this stage and often worry about whether they “belong” or not to different social groups. They may often have what appear to be sudden changes in how they feel about being bilingual and bicultural.
Some children during this stage just glide right through it and come out the other side unscathed but at least be prepared for unpredictability during this stage just in case it happens. One minute your child may be more than happy to join in gatherings with friends and family where the second language is spoken and then at other times she may mock your language and culture and show resistance. This can be very demoralizing, especially to the parent(s) originally from another country. Even though it is a normal reaction, try not to allow yourself to become detached from the situation and from your child. Take cues from your child and, without putting on too much pressure, try to keep them engaged with the family. Even if she won't speak your language, make sure the family rules are clear and that the basics are adhered to.
• Some children become even closer to their parents and family language and culture during this stage. They begin to understand the importance of their dual heritage and take an active role in learning more about it. If this is the case, this is a great time to start discussing things with your child that are important to you about your language and history. Bring out picture albums and share stories that your grandparents passed onto you. Share what it was like to be a young child - perhaps you grew up in another country or were raised bilingually yourself? Participate with your child in activities that bring his two (or more) cultures together: putting together a family tree, making traditional food together, making traditional clothing for a culture fair, joining a culture club together, and even traveling to places that were special for you and your spouse when each of you were younger. But make sure not to overdo it. Give your child the space to embrace his bilingualism and biculturalism on his own terms.
If your child is still feeling defiant about speaking your language and identifying with their second culture, just be patient. Don't stop speaking your language and continue to share aspects of your culture. Take as many visits "back home" as possible so that your child can truly identify with extended family. In time your child will come around and be thanking you.
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BBFN Columnists |
• Multicultural Melange - Alice grew up in a bilingual/bicultural Korean-Austrian family. In this month's column, Alice shares her thoughts on raising her child trilingually.
• The Single Language Spouse - Get to know Colleen, the "single language spouse". She is married to a Russian and in this month's column shares her thoughts on raising a child bilingually when you don't speak the "other" language.
• Eurapsody - Meet Clo, an Italian native currently based in France with her Belgian partner and raising a quadrilingual child. In this month's column she helps us with finding a name for our future multilingual child.
• One Family One Language - Lilian and her husband live in the US but both are originally from Brazil. In her column, Lilian will share with us the joys and struggles of raising two boys bilingually with the minority-language-at-home approach.
• Between Grandparent and Grandchild - Corey's mother's tough questions contributed to this group actually coming into being! In this column she introduces herself to you through her experience of becoming a mother and the hopes for global understanding that came with it. |
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Stay Informed |
• News Around the World - Check out articles, essays and opinions about language, culture and identity around the world.
• Ages & Stages - Want to know if your child is just going through a stage or maybe prepare for the next step in your child's life?
• Tips & Advice - Check out "My Kid Speaks Better Than Yours!" and questions answered by Harriet.
• Once A Day! - Rev up your grey cells with today's tip, word, quote, wisdom, Did You Know? and activity!
• Humor & Fun - Read "Oh No, My Chil Caught Bilingualism!", test your American English vowel knowledge and learn how to bark like a dog in different languges. |
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Spotlights & Info |
• Marketplace Spotlights - check out this month's book review, Sponge School and Magellan's Toy Shop.
• Website Spotlights - Have you heard of "Talkin About Talk" and read Maya Lin's essay on being bicultural.
• What's New at BBFN? - Ask Harriet, Interviews with people of influence, share postcards with other bilingual/bicultural families, and check out Corey's blog.
• Look Who's Talking - Harriet's presentation is coming up at the end of March and Corey will offer a seminar at the end of April.
• Mailbag- Carol in Spain shares her thoughts about our February newsletter and contrasts our American Between Worlds essay with her experiences in Spain. |
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