Starting Late - Too Late?

“[My eldest son] feels antagonistic towards
speaking Dutch which is mainly due to my own
ambiguous relationship with the language.”

(Reprinted from the Bilingual Family Newsletter (2004, Volume 21, Number 2) with permission from Multilingual Matters: www.multilingualmatters.com.)

Question: We are a Dutch-English family living in Cornwall. Until recently I haven’t spoken Dutch to my children and never thought I really would. What has changed is that we have bought a flat in Holland and that we will be spending a significant amount of time in Holland and that our links with Holland and my family will be much stronger. My husband John already speaks a fair amount of Dutch and is trying to learn more but finding it hard and discouraging work. We have got 3 children, Oliver, Zoe and Lewis. Oliver is five and just started junior school. He feels antagonistic towards speaking Dutch which is mainly due to my own ambiguous relationship with the language. He has, however, picked up a fair amount of Dutch and will hopefully get used to it.

Zoe is two. I have recently started speaking Dutch to her and she seems fine with that. She doesn’t speak any Dutch herself though. Baby Lewis is 11 months now. We would be very grateful for advice on how to proceed from here! Even though the one parent – one language approach seems very fruitful. I don’t want to do it that way. Obviously, I am most grateful to hear of all possible ways to teach our children to speak Dutch properly. Particularly, methods involving the whole family. We are quite worried and uncertain about the way forward and would therefore be very grateful for your help and advice in our wish to become a bilingual family.
Rita & John Stephen, UK

Answer: Rita’s situation is quite common with fluent speakers of a second language, living away from their home country. They are so comfortable using the language of their partner and the community where they live that they use it for the majority of the time. Only when children come along do they begin to reassess the situation. I agree that the One-Parent-One-Language approach is not for your family since you don’t feel comfortable speaking only Dutch. One strategy which would be suitable is called one-location-one-language, where the language is linked to a place not a person. You have created an excellent environment for Dutch to thrive in your family by buying a property in Holland. This will give your children a real purpose for learning and speaking Dutch. The fact that you plan to spend lots of time there is positive too, as you and the children will soon find local friends and have a reason for using Dutch. John’s enthusiasm to learn Dutch is great, and he should find lots of relaxed social opportunities with family and friends to pick-up and practise Dutch. Try to speak as much Dutch together as possible in Holland. Don’t worry too much about your children’s lack of Dutch, they are still young and have plenty of time to catch up. For Oliver, I would try to find some Dutch books, cartoons or videos to prepare him for trips there, and make your time there fun and exciting so he wants to be there. Dutch should clearly be linked to the flat and family in Holland. Zoe and Lewis are just beginning to be aware of who speaks which language and may benefit from you speaking Dutch to them directly (i.e. reading a story or singing songs) on a one-to-one basis for half-an-hour a day. In a Dutch environment they will soon work out who speaks what and adapt accordingly. As parents you are creating the right conditions for your bilingual and bicultural children to benefit.

Suzanne Barron-Hauwert, Malaysia
Suzanne is the author of “Language Strategies for Bilingual Families: The One Parent One Language Approach”, published by Multilingual Matters. Married to a Frenchman with three young children she has direct experience of bringing up children with two or three languages.

(Reprinted with permission from Multilingual Matters.  The above Question and Answer was part of the Multilingual Matters Bilingual Family Newsletter, 2004, Volume 21, Number 2. 
For more information about Multilingual Matters: www.multilingualmatters.com and their Bilingual Family Newsletter: www.bilingualfamilynewsletter.html. Their newsletter is published four times a year and is full of helpful information and support for families raising multilingual children.)